REACTIONS
For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction. In this form of confinement, emotions and actions sometimes manifest themselves in surprising ways. It’s hard not to be reactionary to the inhumane conditions and treatment that we on Texas Death Row are subjected to on a daily basis. But being in the struggle with a conscious mind, one has to always think of each action one makes.
On July 24th, I executed a sit-in on the outside rec yard to protest the atrocious murder of Lonnie “Big J” Johnson. Once the use of force was over and the camera was off, Maj. Nelson came to my cell door and said, “If you’re their (referring to D.R.I.V.E.) new poster boy, they need to get rid of you! You’re not it!”
I stood there and smiled at her. Then the low blow came.
“You’re a pussy! You got that pussy! So go sit down and wipe your little wet pussy, and when I do shut this shit down, I’m going to blame it all on you,” – again referring to the Movement.
I wasn’t surprised at her disrespectful outburst. It was a blatant psychological tactic. I wonder if our movement broke her in such a way that she’ll begin to act like Eugene “Bull” Connor did against Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said:
“Non-violent action seeks to defeat the unjust system not the individuals who are caught in that system.”
Since I became involved with this movement, I’ve been waiting to be introduced to their more challenging form of direct action, involving chemical agents and physical resistance. This is not because I wanted to expose myself to this administration’s horrific chemical repression, but more so knowing it could happen. When embracing struggle, those choosing to resist oppression – in a non-violent manner – have to psychologically prepare themselves for the violent repression that is going to occur. So mentally and physically, I was ready.
For the last 7 months, this movement has sat back and let the administration attempt to address the issues they could control, as we were asked, without any major protesting. This is 7 months of buildup, because none of the issues that we’ve brought to their attention have been addressed (i.e. living conditions). Asking us to let them “see what they could do,” was merely a tactic to stop us from protesting. With 7 months of cooperation, to no avail, it was inevitable that direct action would have to be put back into effect. The insolent comments of Maj. Nelson said were “the pressure that burst the pipe.”
As my comrades and I decided what needed to be done, I couldn’t stop thinking of the comments Maj. Nelson made toward me. Was my ego reacting to Maj. Nelson’s psychological tactic? I don’t know, but I was effected. That’s why I volunteered to conduct the sit-in.
When I went to the dayroom the next day (July 28th) my mind was focused on what was about to take place in just a few hours; I was going to refuse to relinquish the dayroom, which would result in a physical extraction. I played over as many situations as I could think of to make sure I didn’t get hurt. I wasn’t intending to fight the 5-man extraction team once they came in. I was just going to non-violently resist and not make it easy for them to slam me on the concrete floor, as they like to do.
When it was time for the guards to place me back into my cell, I started to prepare for the extraction. When the floor officer came to cuff me and saw me putting on the necessary materials to protect myself from the chemical warfare, he said, “I knew it.” He was there when Maj. Nelson made her statement 4 days earlier.
I began to pace the dayroom waiting for the administration to go through their procedure of attempting to talk me into coming out of the dayroom. This didn’t happen. I sat in the dayroom 2 extra hours waiting on ranking officers. Next thing I saw was the 5-man extraction team enter the B pod, along with 2 Sgt’s and the Captain. Sgt. #1 stood in front of my with a mini-fire extinguisher looking canister filled with the chemical agent “Red Saber.” The officers like to call this by its nickname, “Speed Heat” because when it comes in contact with exposed skin, it heats up extremely fast to make it feel as if you are being burned by a direct flame. He was 10 feet away from me due to the bars around the dayroom. Sgt. #2 stood 7 to 8 feet to my left with a 37mm rifle that looks like a sawed-off shotgun. The mouth of the barrel is the size of a tennis ball, and it sounds like a cannon when fired! This rifle shoots and enormous cloud of fine, powdery white gas, that’s supposed to take the breath away and burn the skin.
After Sgt. #1 gave 2 direct orders – which I didn’t hear due to the mental zone I placed myself in – Sgt. #2 fired the 37mm rifle directly at me, enveloping me in a cloud of gas. The Sgt’s waited 3 minutes as the gas settled on and around me. I waited the the determination not to let the chemical agents break my stance. Then Sgt. #1 gave 2 more orders – which I heard this time, but refused to obey – then started to spray me with a direct shot of the highly potent “Speed Heat.” Luckily I had the dayroom mattress held in front of me like a shield to stop the liquid barrage from making direct contact with my skin. They waited another 2 minutes to let the 2 different chemicals do their job.
From the time the team walked in, I posed no violent threat. I just crouched against the wall with the dayroom mattress. Sgt. #1 signaled for the picket officer to unlock the dayroom door so he could utilize his 5-man team, fully equipped with riot gear and 2 riot shields. The team ran in, wrestled me to the ground, and cuffed and shackled me. It all happened so fast, it makes me wonder – “Why even use chemicals?” After I was shackled and cuffed, I was carried back to my cage.
Although the Movement recognized that action needed to be taken, I solely reacted to the comments and didn’t see the bigger picture. It’s not wrong to protest against unprofessionalism from a ranking officer – especially a Major – since it contributes to the inhumane conditions, it has to be done very strategically, meaning don’t react solely on emotions.
This movement hasn’t lasted by the comrades being perfect; it has lasted by their willingness to recognize their flaws and mistakes that were made. I allowed myself to be manipulated by the foul and rotten psychological tactic of this petty administration that had been waiting for the opportunity to disentangle this movement.
Strugglers striving to reach their higher self must recognize when they have made a mistake and do what they can to not allow it to happen again.
But can the public recognize the unjust punishment that’s being dealt to prisoners across America? Do you believe in human rights? Or did our human rights die when we were sentenced to death? After all, in the words of Maj. Nelson:
“I’m human too!”
DRIVE ON!
Comrade Jasiri
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See my update on July 24th.
See Comrade Omari’s powerful piece “The Ugly Face of America’s Social Psychosis”
D.R.I.V.E.
DEATH Row INNER-COMMUNALIST VANGUARD ENGAGEMENT
