WHAT'S "REAL"?
In today’s generation the term “real” has taken grasp of many minds. This stretches to society and even within prison walls. This term (real) is supposed to be used to identify someone that is principled and upholds himself with integrity and dignity; but when being applied amongst people with so many diverse beliefs what’s “real” usually becomes a topic of debate. While I believe that what’s “real” can be something that’s based upon certain codes of moral behaviors what I’ve seen the journey to being “real” become, is persons acting out trying to prove something to others (influenced by ego and machismo, not sound judgement) which turns out to be a bunch of foolish and ignorant actions.
Now, being on death row comes with many things that are real – unfortunately realities that have become diluted. What exist in a state of “solid being” and what ones have convinced themselves to believe are 2 totally separate things. Bars in front of my face are a solid reality. Me, working out everyday so that I can punch the bars into oblivion is not realistic. However, we can formulate ideas based on sound reasoning that can get us from behind the bars.
When I began protesting on death row I entered the protest with a logical mind based on realistic goals and objectives. I understand the slow process of change and the consequences of protesting. I also understood death row and the politics behind it better than most.
While trying to get others engaged in the protest, one of the most common responses was – “That’s not going to save my life.” At first utterance that sounds very prolific and it does carry pieces of truth. The truth is, protesting, in itself, will not save your (my) life, but a diligent protester builds a platform so that his (or her) actions are felt in a wide range way to where it could affect their situation. Society has dimensions (political, economical, cultural), politics has dimensions (conservative, liberal, socialist, capitalist), just as protest takes on diverse dimensions.
Therefore, when taking on such responses from invitations to protest I divert to the slang of today: “What’s real?” I’ll tell you what’s real – unless a moratorium, or abolishment, of the death penalty comes about, a LOT of men, especially in Texas, are going to die. That’s a reality manifested from continual events. We call that history. History is changed only when such events are intervened upon. So, regardless to if I’m here to see that change, what I do now can be a part of the change to come.
I find statements like “protesting won’t save my life” not as a cop-out, rather an utterance from a lack of political consciousness. To be truly politically conscious is to know that Texas is determined to oppress its prisoners and carry out as many executions as possible – therefore repression and death is highly probable. But, are men on death row really preparing for that reality and/or doing anything to bring about change?
In all that I’ve experienced, protesting has had NO adverse effects on the way I fight for my life. They are not antithetical. No one has to tell me to fight for my life. When that jury and judge sentenced me to death, I knew it was going to be a war to change that. When I came to death row I didn’t need anyone to urge me to fight – the natural instincts of survival simply kicked in. EVERY DAY I apply myself to help my situation – be it writing to pen friends/websites places, activist groups or trying to help organize actions to fight the death penalty – this way I can have no regrets. For someone to tell me to fight is like having to remind me to breathe. Hence, no matter what is going on around me, it has NO effect on my fight for life and freedom.
In addition, what I have come to learn is that any activism geared to raise awareness about death row can only benefit the plight to abolish it. There are direct consequences to what we do and don’t do. Men think that raising money will completely save them. I’ve seen many men with prominent attorneys lose new trial and get sent back to death row. Men think that a clean prison record will keep them from getting resentenced in a new punishment trial. I’ve seen men with no prior criminal or prison disciplinary record get sentenced to death again. Men think a mass of publicity will save them. We all saw a man nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize get executed. That’s what’s real.
Another reality is that death row and the death penalty will ONLY change when so much pressure is applied to the system (Governor, Legislature, TDC officials, etc) to where they’d fear to NOT bring about change would endanger their status. Most politicians don’t care about the people they represent, they care about the power they possess. When that’s infringed upon – through activism – they adjust to quell the storm. So, when you take that into consideration, can you cite the things you’re doing to help manifest that change?
Protests are birthed to express dissent/disapproval. What does our inactivity say? An appeal captures one form of dissent, but with over 355 killed in Texas what does that say about appeals? Those stats are real!
What we have come to see is that there MUST be a multitude of actions taken to overturn something like the death penalty. But, are death row prisoners REALLY serious about doing that? We seem to think that our saviors are solely on the other side of these walls or up in the sky. Well, we must help ourselves before anyone else can help us and even the Bible says faith without works is dead.
The point missed is that protesting about dirty dayrooms/laundry/showers, sensory deprivation symptoms, denial of TV’s/arts and crafts etc is not the key to winning your appeal, rather it is a tactic used to highlight how having a death penalty creates cruel and unusual punishment and is not solely in killing you but also how they house you until they do. Activism inside and out is interconnected and has effects on the same goal – the fight to abolish the death penalty.
And who’s the people to push that Cause for us? Our family, friends and supporters; but if we have rendered them ineffective through our own lack of activity and enlightenment then we are only aiding and assisting our own oppression and demise.
Just as ones say – “protesting won’t save my life,” I can turn that around and say: “How does making a $175 commissary spend do that? How does being a sport/chess fanatic do that? How does trading magazines do that? How does gossip and attacking each other do that?”
Often times in a moment of suffering we illusion ourselves – like a desert with the mirage – to believe something that is not because it brings momentary relief. Nevertheless, no amount of suffering will be vanquished at the conjuring up of fantasy.
What we are doing – as protestors (be it by the pen or physical action) – is playing a role in this process that effects/affects us. Though it may be death at the other end, fighting and dying is more attractive than just passing through stagnant and dying. What purposes in life have we carried out? What has been done to where ones can say – I helped initiate a process to change death row. It’s a shame when ones call themselves gangstas from the streets, or gang members in prison, where they were destructive on those that were already victims, but when faced with a real bully/enemy, they bow down. It’s a shame when ones call themselves revolutionaries but the most they can do is philosophize about philosophy.
When ones talk about priority – which most would say working on their appeal is – it should already be understood that you’re up everyday doing that. To venture into protesting against what we’re facing is only to complement that appeal. We’ve exhibited how you don’t have to be violent, passive or a blind follower to do that. If we don’t step up in a major way, we can expect for the same results to be carried out upon us. Fly talk, knowing a bunch of stats, having a website, is nothing in itself. Either we get active or continue to be eradicated. So, with all of this in mind, have you REALLY been keeping it real?
Kenneth Foster Jr.
D.R.I.V.E.
DEATH Row INNER-COMMUNALIST VANGUARD ENGAGEMENT
